22A--Elevator Pitch No. 3

2) A reflection on the feedback you received from your last pitch:
My groupmates thought the second pitch was pretty good.  They did not comment on any issues. While this was flattering, I'm sure I made a few mistakes. The only issue I could determine from my second pitch was a potential overuse of economic jargon, but I imagine there were probably a couple other issues.
3) What did you change, based on the feedback?
Third time's the charm, as they say. I bet you find a few things different from the first time, including (a) it's almost memorized, (b) you're far more comfortable in front of the camera, and (c) the pitch itself is better. If this is or isn't true for you, please include this in your reflection!
Due to my overuse of jargon in the last post, I simplified the language in this third and final pitch.  I also memorized the speech so I did not have to look at the paper much at all. However, I did not manage to irradicate the use of "um" as a filler word and I failed to make my workspace large enough to allow for natural movements.  Therefore, my second pitch will likely remain the best even though I memorized the speech this time because I had to sway more than walk in my workspace and I did say "um" several times.

Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this pitch and I am looking forward to your critiques!

Sincere thanks,

Jerrett

Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 9, 2018 at 9:27 PM

    I think this was your best pitch so far. It was very fluid and I agree that the simpler language made your elevator pitch easier to understand for the listener and be more willing to go with the product you were discussing. Great job on also not using a lot of filler words. The only tip I would give you is to maybe try to change the background you film on, or see if you can find a background that is more relevant to your product since that might make it even better. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownNovember 12, 2018 at 11:06 PM

    Hey Jerrett!
    Your pitch this time around was great as per usual! You did use quite a few filler words but you seem more relaxed than before. I agree that your second pitch is your best pitch, but you didn't do bad on this pitch either. I would just suggest cutting some parts out because it is more than a minute to a minute and a half. But overall, great pitch!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownNovember 13, 2018 at 4:07 AM

    Hi Jerrett, this pitch was still good overall. You still used "um" but it was not as much as your first pitch. I would suggest not having a background with so much in it because it can become distracting to your audience. I also would suggest not moving so much or pacing. Overall, you still did a good job.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownNovember 13, 2018 at 3:03 PM

    I like the structure of your speech. It was very informative and there were times where I even went “wow”. Very interesting business proposal you have going on and content wise the speech was great. I just have a few suggestions when it comes to delivering such great content and idea to better convince or sell your product to others. I suggest you talk a little bit quicker and use a little more diversity in the tonality of your voice.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

30A--Final Reflection

Image
1) Read through your posts from this semester. Recall all of the experiences you've had a long the way -- the highs, the lows -- the fun moments, and the moments of drudgery, and even the moments of dread. While the assignments in this class are rarely difficult or terribly time-consuming, the volume makes them somewhat tedious.  I definitely experienced dread a few times, primarily because I have two jobs, one of which requires me to travel quite a bit on the weekends. This possibly abnormal occupational requirement was only an issue because the cupcakes were only open on the weekends and closed at NOON (really, Dr. Pryor?). But, I think the class was beneficial overall.  I did enjoy completing most of the assignments. All but a few were fairly insightful and thought-provoking. 2) What sticks out to you as the most formative experience? The experience that you'll remember years later? What was your most joyous experience? What experience are you most proud of y...
Read more
Image
3A – Your Entrepreneurship Story My parents started their first companies in their early twenties and their second in their late thirties. I grew up as the only son on a family farm and therefore have been working most of my life (since age seven).  I have seen the ugly side of entrepreneurship and the illusion of freedom it flaunts.  My parents often work over 80 hours a week.  Sometimes that is 80 hours of extremely stressful situation management coupled with intense physical labor.  Others it is the overwhelming amount of legwork to keep a company going.  The planning, accounting, PR, employee relations, marketing, root-hog-or-die, put everyone about you and your family and the company above it all side of entrepreneurship that most individuals never get to see.  It's an absolutely incredible thing for an individual or group to risk it all, put in every drop of effort they possess, risk their reputation and future on a dream.  That dream is ofte...
Read more

18A--Creating a Customer Avatar

Image
I'd like you to describe your prototypical customer in that segment with as much detail as you can. Include pictures, too. Tell us their story! What kind of hobbies does your customer have? What kind of car do they tend to drive? (What color is it?) What TV shows do they watch? Do they have children? Are any of them adopted? What are their favorite books, and who are their favorite politicians? How old are they? How old do they feel? And so on. The richer the detail, the better.  After you have created this customer avatar, I'd like you to answer this final set of questions: What do  you  have in common with the customer avatar? If you have anything in common with the avatar, do you think that is a coincidence? Why? I think my prototypical customer is a husband with 15-20 chickens or a small aquacultural operation.  They will typically be hobbyist with "real" jobs away from home.  Their children will be heavily involved in animal care and the farming portion...
Read more